Second Congregational Church of Derby, CT


What It means to Me to be a Christian

                What does it mean to be a Christian?  One can see definitions on line or get differing answers by asking many different people. Thus my answer is uniquely mine, though it may be similar to that of others.  

                 Some people think that I choose to be simple minded, that I choose to follow rather than make my own way.  Some people do not think I am a good Christian because I am not nice, well please take a moment and meet the real Jesus there is a difference between nice and good. 

                 Christianity saved me from being sucked into the pits of divorce, though I went down that low road too many times anyway.  By following Christ, I realized that I am a child of God, a brother of Jesus and here on Earth, most importantly, a father to my daughter Victoria.  Also a son to Fred & Nancy a brother to Deb and somewhere way down the line least importantly, April’s second ex-husband…..

                 It took a while to get a backbone in court.  Lies fly fast and furiously there.  First thing I did was to not tolerate anyone calling April my ex-wife.  She was to be referred to as Victoria’s or my daughter’s mother.  At one point I scolded an attorney stating that “If April was merely my x than she could fall off the face of the Earth and I would NOT care.  The reason why we are here is because she is my daughter’s mother and that is  the only reason why you are making any money off us.  So stop fanning the flames of the past and focus on now and the future” Not nice, but it needed to be said.            

What else did God give me?  A good wife!  I was dating a girl before Nancy, and there was a conflict – Joanne wanted to see a movie and it was my weekend with Victoria.  At the time of my divorce my neighborhood was really bad….. but everyone knew that when I had my daughter…  Joanne said that I should not let a child run my life…  Bye!  Tori and Nancy hit it off.  Sometimes when Tori  is really angry with me, she tells Nancy “You really need to talk to your husband…”

 I dreamed of the last child support I was going to write.  I pictured myself spewing much of the rage and hurt that I felt over the years.   Instead Victoria moved back.  While legally I should have received child support, my love for Victoria is greater than the negativity I feel towards her mother. Thus there was no “last check” celebration.  I told my daughter’s mother, just send Victoria up.  I do not want any money from her, I do not want to go back to court.  With Victoria back, I just wanted to move on. 

                The last check celebration would have been sweet for a moment, but having Victoria back in my life gives me a long lasting joy.